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Bad Similes
- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
- The scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like while in another city, you find out "Jeopardy" came on at 7 instead of 7:30.
- Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
- He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
- Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
- The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr. Pepper can.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
- The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a sheet of metal shaken backstage during a storm scene.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
- The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
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